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  1.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  2.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  3.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  4.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  5.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  6.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  7.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  8.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  9.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  10.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  11.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  12.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  13.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  14.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  15.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  16.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  17.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  18.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  19.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  20.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  21.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  22.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  23.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  24.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  25.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  26.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  27.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.
  28.  Although WW helped me lose the twenty pounds I was aiming for, I did eventually gain it back. I didn’t figure out for nearly ten years that the most important step is to understand that “diet” is a noun, not a verb. We eat a diet of food no matter who we are. We can choose a nutritious diet because we love ourselves, and want to flourish, but should not start dieting because we are ugly, fat jerks that must be punished for sins of gluttony. I mean, unless you want to keep gaining and losing the same twenty pounds, over and over again like I did—then by all means, diet and punish away.
  29.  This may sound like some sort of scary cult thing. But it was actually really fun. I got to invite friends to a ceremony where an Acharya—a man “who presumably had his shit more together than I did”—presented me with my new name, then we celebrated with sake, songs, and conversation.
  30.  Eventually this philosophy led me to Austin where I got certified in cupping, but the story about receiving ten hours of cupping and devouring $60 worth of food at Red Lobster in a single weekend is best saved for another day.